Why Women Settle

First of all, I am not here to judge anyone at all because my relationships have been far from perfect. As I observe and witness from friends or just on social media—women desire attention. I totally agree with that because I desire a lot of attention. I have single friends as well as married friends that are not happy or seek companionship. I have seen some relationships fail and some are still holding on because there’s no need to go out and date after so many years. I’ve asked myself if that’s a good reason to hold on to unhappiness. My situation is complicated and definitely work in progress. Disclaimer: I do not condone divorce or marital affairs. If you both tried everything to make it work, there is no need to be miserable. “Life is Too Short”

Lonely  I have a friend that has never been married and has no children. She’s single and has never been married. I truly admire her and wish nothing but happiness for her. I’ve been married for 23 years and was separated for almost three years. During my time of being single was difficult at times when it came to companionship. I can say I understand how she feels when desiring companionship. I did have a friend and it help during my time away from what was home. When you’re lonely does it make it okay to accept whatever is handed to you? I truly don’t think so, why deal with someone when they only desire to be with you. I try so hard to stay in my place and not comment as much, but my love for my friends makes it hard for me because I feel their pain. We’ve had this conversation before and her answer was out of convenience for her because they’ve already built a relationship. I think this is a sad reason to put up with someone’s selfish behavior.

Timing   Sometimes I feel as if women are so tired of waiting for “Mr. Right”. Does he actually exist? I truly believe there is no perfect man or woman. Being single gives you a lot of time to yourself and cause you to second guess yourself and your ability to be loved. You begin to question yourself in terms of “what you’re doing wrong or what you’re not doing right”. The longer some women are single the more self-doubt settles in. Holding on to a dead relationship may prevent a person to miss out on crossing paths with someone who is worth their time. If you’ve dated someone for over a year and has never met any family or friends (you are not their person). Some things doesn’t take a genius to figure out, but when you’re in love you don’t see the obvious. Sex is a big deal and can blind you when it’s good sex.

Refusing to Start Over   When you’ve been in a marriage or relationship for a long period of time, starting over isn’t an option for some. Why stay with a man that does not support you financially, emotionally or sexually. We as women sacrifice a lot and put our lives on the back burner to make sure our family as well as our spouse is happy and taken care of. I am at a place that my children are out of the house and I am trying to discover what it is I want to do and figure out who I am after 23 years. One young lady that I know has been married over ten years and has adult children out of the home. Her marriage has been on the rocks for at least five years. I always knew she wasn’t happy, but couldn’t figure out why she never walked away and she wasn’t sure. I asked her if she was afraid of being alone because she was pretty much handling things pertaining to the home. He did help out with the bills, but i think the chemistry was gone. Communication had fallen by the way side and any attraction appeared to be no more. Sitting in a home with no children and no communication has to be miserable. I can attest  to that because I too experience the lack of communication. You try so hard to make it work, but what do you do when it’s been a few years of struggling with the same issues? Trust me this isn’t the last time that I will touch on this subject, but I am closing it out for now. Thank you for your attention.

 

Be YouNique

Proverbs 31:10 – Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies.

 

 

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